My sister was in town, so we spent a rare Saturday night out. On the way home, the sister-in-law (who’s pregnant and got stuck driving around the obnoxious drunks — sorry) had the Footloose soundtrack in the CD player. The rest of us sang along, seat danced and reminisced about the 80’s. Somewhere along the line, the brother-in-law opened the sunroof and cranked the volume. So as we pulled in our driveway (which is inches from the ghetto neighbor’s house), we were blaring “I’m Free (Heaven Helps The Man).”

The best, best part of the whole thing was that there was a chick who peeled back the curtains and glared at us as we drove in. I’m sure she was thinking, “Jesus that’s horrible!” But I’m also sure her windows weren’t rattling like mine do when the hoopties roll up. Why? Because I swear to God there is NO BASS on the entire soundtrack.

How white can we get?