I feel like this blog has turned into a place to vent about parenting a child with autism.

That’s OK, don’t get me wrong, but it’s not why I started writing here. I was hoping to experiment, not really focus entirely on the kids, try different writing styles.

At first, I did that. Quite a bit.

Now, well, I’m exhausted. Drained. It often seems like, outside of work, this disorder saps all my time and energy. What little I have left goes to the other kids, who I am trying desperately not to lose in the autism shuffle.

I had always considered myself a positive person, but I seem to be spiraling the drain of negativity. I was hurt recently by someone close to us suggesting that Simon’s problem might not be autism, but simply poor parenting. I haven’t been able to let that go.

Some days are good, but many days are bad.

You see, this is not the kind of stuff I wanted to put out there. It doesn’t seem like me. But lately, it is. And it scares me. I need to find that positive person, the one who can see good in anything. The one who can laugh at herself. I know I’m still there.

But until I find myself again, I might steer clear of depressing the hell out of my friends and family on the Internet.

I promise, my next post will be funny. Or I won’t post again.

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